Communication is key

Take the time to really listen when caregiving.

You’ll be communicating regularly with the patient, their doctors and other health care professionals, as well as family and friends of the patient. Take the time to explore what type of help the patient needs at this time. They may need help with day-to-day tasks but can still make their own health decisions independently. Or, they may need more help than they’re ready to admit they need.

Often people have trouble asking for help. Keeping an open line of communication can help. You may find it helpful to attend a counseling session together occasionally, which can be done virtually if the patient is not up to attending in person.

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"Sometimes you just need that person to put their hand on your shoulder and tell you, ‘I'm right here. I'll be with you every step of the way.'"

Jo-Marie Ewell, head and neck cancer navigator

Sentara Oncology

Tips for when it’s hard to communicate with the patient:

When the person is talking or seems frustrated, make eye contact and hold the person's hand.
Ask specific questions that need yes or no answers.
When offering choices, limit the person to just one or two.
Avoid correcting the person in a negative way.

Communicating with loved ones

As the primary caretaker, you will probably also be asked for updates about the patient. This can be overwhelming when you’re also balancing their care and needs.

You can share this information that can help you manage expectations:

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In-person visits

These visits at times may be welcome by the patient. Other days, they may be difficult and lead to emotional and physical exhaustion. Talk with the patient about who they would like to see and when. Do they have a better time of day for these types of visits? Be sure to note their energy level and try to schedule in-person visits when they’re feeling their best. Communicate with loved ones that in-person visits are welcome but should be arranged ahead of time if drop-in visits would be stressful.

Communication tree

Set up a “communication tree” to help you communicate without having to contact each person individually. This may be done via email, text or phone calls. Ensure that this does not turn into a game of telephone by writing down exactly the update you want to be shared – and ideally making sure that same update is repeated so each person has the correct information.

Set up a page on social media

If there’s a large group of family and friends who wish to be updated, consider setting up a page on social media. There are several websites that make it easy to do this – and these updates can be as private as you’d like. Examples include:

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Learn about palliative care services in your area.

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